A Month

I truly wish that I was more consistent with this, but life just seems to mow over me and I become overwhelmed.

Life has definitely been chugging along for about a year now. Last September a good portion of my family moved to Kenya, Africa. While there one of my brothers got married. Then this last month one of my other brothers and his family moved to Wichita, Kansas. Now I wait for one of my sisters to have a baby and my brother and his new wife to visit. Life hopefully could not be busier, but this is really not what I was going to write about.

I want to tell you about a book I have read recently. It is called The Shack and it is quite controversial. I did not realize this when I read it though.

I have met many people who did not like it. I agree that the push off place for this book is quite emotional and heartrending. But I think that tragedy in our lives is definitely what draws us closer to God.

There were definite aspects of this book that I did not agree with, but what I found in it was a desire to make my relationship with the Lord more intimate. I realized from reading this book that it was I that had put limitations on who God was and what my relationship with Him would be.

I encourage you to at least check it out. You may not like. In fact, you may read the bulerp about and say "No way", but at least check it out.

If you read it, let me know what you think. I have found the the views regarding this book to be very broad and I love to have my personal opinion challenged by those who have thought about their's.

YIKES?!

Does life ever get on the fast track for you? It is like someone has a remote controller that controls your life and they hit the fast forward button. My life seems to go through cycles of that. I cannot believe the last time I wrote one of these was in January. At least it was this year.

I have a friend, who is always encouraging me regarding my blog, so this one is for her. Annette, thank you for taking the time to encourage me. I really appreciate it.

I was reading in my Bible today, which is something I have not done a lot of lately. When my life gets on fast forward, it seems that my times with God are the first thing to go.

Why? I am not sure. It is definitely one of the most important parts of my day. I think I begin to think that I can handle my life just fine on my own. Then I find out that I cannot. I really always knew I couldn't, but something always assures me I can.

Back to my Bible, I was reading in 1 John and verse 3 says this: "See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are." It actually says more, but this is the part that really spoke to me.

Those of us who went to Sunday School are regularly taught that we are the children of God, but I think sometimes God will take those truths that we all ready know and increase our understanding of them. He has done that for me. Really He has placed within me the desire to have a greater understanding. It is like a treat to a child knowing they will take it and want more.

I have found that when I want to study a scripture I need to know what all of the words in the scripture mean. Some are just plain obvious, but others I need to look up and really understand their definitions.

"Bestowed" is just such a word. I have an inkling of what it means, but I really want to understand it fully. When I looked it up, I found this definition: to present as a gift or an honor.

This verse reminds me again that nothing I do will earn my right as a child of God. It is a gift and an honor.

Do you know how much God loves you? He loves you so much he gave you the gift of sonship or daughtership, if you will accept it. I encourage you to find the God that freely brings you into His family by His Son, Jesus. Know that you are loved with no requirements other than believing in Jesus and the gift He gave of His life for you.

Timing

I find that timing is everything in life. I wish I had better timing. So many times I am too early or too late in something. With relationships, I find that is definitely true. I wish I could be who I want to be for people.

With my mom gone I have really had to reevaluate who I am and how that affects others. I find it fairly ironic that I look like my mom in more ways than one, but I am definitely my father's daughter. I did not acquire many of the people skills that my mom has. I did, in fact, inherit much of the lack of people skills that my father has.

The amusing thing is that my husband really is not better than I am. How did that happen? Usually you find a balance in a marriage, one is very social and the other less social. That is not mine and Jeremy's marriage though. We both struggle with being social.

Not social in the sense that we do not want to be around people, more in the sense that neither one of us have really deep relationships with those outside of our family.

You know I am trying to express things that I have not fully developed in my brain. I guess I just write this to let you know that I am trying. Or at least, I am aware. I am not sure what to do about it, but God is in on it and hopefully he will have a fix for it soon.

God knows I need friends and so do I. I am just not sure how to cultivate them.
So here I am just recording my thoughts to hold myself accountable. For tonight I find that I have searched my soul enough. Maybe tomorrow will bring illumination to the questions and help in finding the answers.

Waiting

I am sitting here thinking of how easy my life is. I am buying things off Ebay. Thinking about what I will fix my family for dinner knowing that the food is there and if it weren't I could got to the store with no fear for my life and get more.

My power went out two different times today and I began to think what would I do if this were a permanent thing. Would I be ready for such a situation? I am not sure if I would.

My family is living in a land that 1000s are fleeing. They know that their lives are in grave danger and so they are leaving. They are leaving with the very little they have and they are seeing their homes burning behind them. Have you ever thought about someone running you out of your home? I cannot imagine being in so much fear for my life that I would need to move to another state or country.

My parents are well at this time. The situation is becoming more tense and from our news media it looks like they are on the verge of civil war. Anyone watch the movie, Hotel Rwanda? One news venue remarked how the situation was becoming close to that one.

I personally have never seen it. I watch movies for entertainment. I must admit that I am shallow in that way. I do not want to be depressed or sad after watching a movie, but I know what it is about. And I now know that my parents are living the reality of it.

If you are interested in keeping up to date regarding my family, please go to leisterkenya.blogspot.com. I will be doing the upkeep on my mom's blog while she is not able to.

Please continue to pray. God knows. I believe that He is holding my family in the palm of His hand. He will keep careful watch over them. I do not know what the final outcome of this situation will be, but I know that God is good. So I am looking for His goodness.

Draw close to those you love, because one day they will not be there.
Jess

The Year

Do you ever look back at your year and just think "WOW!?". I do. There have been some years in my life that stand out for me. Some are for good things and some for not so good things.

I have to tell you that this was one of the "WOW!?" years. My husband and I were looking at having our house foreclosed on. My parents moved to Kenya, Africa. My daughter turned 12 and for those of you with 12 year olds or had 12 year old girls you understand. We sold our house, but were actually going to owe. God gave us a miracle and we walked away clear. I have had my first Christmas without my parents and younger siblings. Without my parents, I was in the position of bringing the fam together for a time to rejoice. It was a full year.

But this being the actual last day of the year, it is not over. I received a phone call from my mom in the middle of the night last night to let me know they are considering coming home.

Kenya was the most stable of African nations, but the elections that took place last Thursday have thrown it into chaos. The current president rigged the election so that he could stay in office. The main challenger, who should have one, is trying to set up a parallel government. The two main tribes are trying to kill each other to see who comes out on top.

As I talked with my mom, she told me she could hear automatic rifle fire in the background. The city they live in, Eldoret, has been burning, because people are lighting business on fire. Life in Kenya is no longer stable.

So here I am stateside knowing the only thing I can do is pray. Is God big enough? Absolutely! If there is one thing this last year has shown me is that God can do any number of impossible things as long as we believe. Well, I choose to believe.

To make matters worse in this situation, they have blacked out television, disconnected any internet use and they are threatening to stop phone usage.

My parents are living in exciting times. I wish I were there. I wish that I could be there to know if I have what it takes to believe God for the big stuff, but I am here and I can believe for them here.

If you have a moment in your day, lift up Horace, Phyllis, Marvin, Troyanna, Dannon, and Rachel in prayer.

Time

Do you ever wonder how so much time can pass and you did not even realize it? My family moved to Kenya almost three months ago. It has seemed long, but then it hasn't. My daughter turned 12 in October. How the heck did that happen? When did I give her the okay to turn 12 and become an almost-teenager? Which I think is just as bad as being a teenager, because they can feel that change is coming but they do not fully understand it. Like any of us understand change.
Okay, well, life is much better than I am making it out. God has abundantly blessed me and He continues to do it every day. I actually have nothing to honestly complain about and yet, I often do it.
So, I technically have two blogs. I had three, but I just deleted one, because I never wrote in it. I was trying to be so organized. One blog for separate trains of thought, but you know what, they have all merged. I have one track and it just runs several trains.
My husband is a one-train kind of guy. He gets going in one thought pattern and it is really hard to get that train to stop. Me, I can switch trains with a speed that not many can match. I often confuse and befuddle by husband by switching trains or maybe it is jumping tracks.
All of that to say, I am going to condense. I will just be using this blog for all of my mindless and hopefully, not so mindless, wanderings. Come wander with me any time you have a minute.

Why Does It Take So Long?

Do you ever feel like the lessons God is trying to teach do not "take" the first few times?

I do not know how many times I have been asked to have faith in God for something and I whine, complain, and tell Him "I do not understand", even though every time before He has made the way.

I hope I am learning. My family and I are about to reach the one year mark of my husband not having a full time job. It has been the most faith-challenging year I have ever experienced and yet, I know that I am in a much better place today than I was the day it all began.

God has proven Himself to be faithful over and over again. So why do I have any doubts? I truly cannot give you an answer.

In my logical mind, I know that I should not have any doubts, but somewhere in my illogical heart lives a weed. Every time we have a come to the test of faith I have pulled that weed, but every time I have missed a portion of the root. Why?

How do I get it all? I send this out to any of you who have experienced this. If you have insight, please enlighten me. I truly want to walk and no more doubt.

Be blessed!