Waiting

I am sitting here thinking of how easy my life is. I am buying things off Ebay. Thinking about what I will fix my family for dinner knowing that the food is there and if it weren't I could got to the store with no fear for my life and get more.

My power went out two different times today and I began to think what would I do if this were a permanent thing. Would I be ready for such a situation? I am not sure if I would.

My family is living in a land that 1000s are fleeing. They know that their lives are in grave danger and so they are leaving. They are leaving with the very little they have and they are seeing their homes burning behind them. Have you ever thought about someone running you out of your home? I cannot imagine being in so much fear for my life that I would need to move to another state or country.

My parents are well at this time. The situation is becoming more tense and from our news media it looks like they are on the verge of civil war. Anyone watch the movie, Hotel Rwanda? One news venue remarked how the situation was becoming close to that one.

I personally have never seen it. I watch movies for entertainment. I must admit that I am shallow in that way. I do not want to be depressed or sad after watching a movie, but I know what it is about. And I now know that my parents are living the reality of it.

If you are interested in keeping up to date regarding my family, please go to leisterkenya.blogspot.com. I will be doing the upkeep on my mom's blog while she is not able to.

Please continue to pray. God knows. I believe that He is holding my family in the palm of His hand. He will keep careful watch over them. I do not know what the final outcome of this situation will be, but I know that God is good. So I am looking for His goodness.

Draw close to those you love, because one day they will not be there.
Jess

The Year

Do you ever look back at your year and just think "WOW!?". I do. There have been some years in my life that stand out for me. Some are for good things and some for not so good things.

I have to tell you that this was one of the "WOW!?" years. My husband and I were looking at having our house foreclosed on. My parents moved to Kenya, Africa. My daughter turned 12 and for those of you with 12 year olds or had 12 year old girls you understand. We sold our house, but were actually going to owe. God gave us a miracle and we walked away clear. I have had my first Christmas without my parents and younger siblings. Without my parents, I was in the position of bringing the fam together for a time to rejoice. It was a full year.

But this being the actual last day of the year, it is not over. I received a phone call from my mom in the middle of the night last night to let me know they are considering coming home.

Kenya was the most stable of African nations, but the elections that took place last Thursday have thrown it into chaos. The current president rigged the election so that he could stay in office. The main challenger, who should have one, is trying to set up a parallel government. The two main tribes are trying to kill each other to see who comes out on top.

As I talked with my mom, she told me she could hear automatic rifle fire in the background. The city they live in, Eldoret, has been burning, because people are lighting business on fire. Life in Kenya is no longer stable.

So here I am stateside knowing the only thing I can do is pray. Is God big enough? Absolutely! If there is one thing this last year has shown me is that God can do any number of impossible things as long as we believe. Well, I choose to believe.

To make matters worse in this situation, they have blacked out television, disconnected any internet use and they are threatening to stop phone usage.

My parents are living in exciting times. I wish I were there. I wish that I could be there to know if I have what it takes to believe God for the big stuff, but I am here and I can believe for them here.

If you have a moment in your day, lift up Horace, Phyllis, Marvin, Troyanna, Dannon, and Rachel in prayer.

Time

Do you ever wonder how so much time can pass and you did not even realize it? My family moved to Kenya almost three months ago. It has seemed long, but then it hasn't. My daughter turned 12 in October. How the heck did that happen? When did I give her the okay to turn 12 and become an almost-teenager? Which I think is just as bad as being a teenager, because they can feel that change is coming but they do not fully understand it. Like any of us understand change.
Okay, well, life is much better than I am making it out. God has abundantly blessed me and He continues to do it every day. I actually have nothing to honestly complain about and yet, I often do it.
So, I technically have two blogs. I had three, but I just deleted one, because I never wrote in it. I was trying to be so organized. One blog for separate trains of thought, but you know what, they have all merged. I have one track and it just runs several trains.
My husband is a one-train kind of guy. He gets going in one thought pattern and it is really hard to get that train to stop. Me, I can switch trains with a speed that not many can match. I often confuse and befuddle by husband by switching trains or maybe it is jumping tracks.
All of that to say, I am going to condense. I will just be using this blog for all of my mindless and hopefully, not so mindless, wanderings. Come wander with me any time you have a minute.

Why Does It Take So Long?

Do you ever feel like the lessons God is trying to teach do not "take" the first few times?

I do not know how many times I have been asked to have faith in God for something and I whine, complain, and tell Him "I do not understand", even though every time before He has made the way.

I hope I am learning. My family and I are about to reach the one year mark of my husband not having a full time job. It has been the most faith-challenging year I have ever experienced and yet, I know that I am in a much better place today than I was the day it all began.

God has proven Himself to be faithful over and over again. So why do I have any doubts? I truly cannot give you an answer.

In my logical mind, I know that I should not have any doubts, but somewhere in my illogical heart lives a weed. Every time we have a come to the test of faith I have pulled that weed, but every time I have missed a portion of the root. Why?

How do I get it all? I send this out to any of you who have experienced this. If you have insight, please enlighten me. I truly want to walk and no more doubt.

Be blessed!

One Moment

For all of you SAHMs, you know this is a very rare moment. My kids all stayed the night with other people and my husband is still asleep.

Honestly, life is really good at this moment. My house is quiet. Do you remember what that sounds like?! Most of the time, I do not, but it is here now.

It is the most beautiful sound. You can actually hear yourself think. You can hear your house sign and get comfortable for the day. There is peace in silence. I love it!!!

The reason being is that I am usually listening to one or more of our three girls telling me a story, telling on one of the other ones, asking me to go somewhere (that is just Bailee, our eleven-year-old, right now), making plans that will not possibly work out, etc.

It is amazing to me how much my children talk. It seems they are completely unable to keep their thoughts in. I do realize though this is better than them never talking to me, which is something I would never want.

So you say to me, Jess I thought this was suppose to be about God or something. Oh, it is, because He is found in the silence. I truly struggle to have a "Quiet Time" when there is no quiet.

Lately, I have just not had the energy to get out of bed before our girls. The two younger ones are up usually by 7, if not sooner.

So this morning, I spent some time with the Lord. We talked about life and how I was doing. I read His word and was given the promise that no matter how it looks right now. It will get better, because my inheritance is in Him. I just need to keep seeking Him.

This is about God, because I am nothing without Him and life is impossible without Him.

I hope you are all blessed today.

This is Shadow. We now have three cats. We are definitely done with the feline animals though. Next pet we may get will be a dog, but that is definitely for another day.

What do you think of him?

Independence

I think sometimes we are too concerned with our own independence. I know I have really been struggling with this lately.

My husband and I are going through a tough time right now, not with each other, just with our circumstances and I am finding it difficult to follow his lead. I know this is the way it should be, but I struggle.

We did not get married until we were both 25 and we both were comfortable with who we were. We did not see any reason for change. Our first year was a definite challenge. We also had a seven year old, so I thought I knew everything about being a parent and ... Well, I thought I was more mature and grounded than he was.

We are finding ourselves in that place again. We have been going through a financial struggle for over six months now and it just seems to get harder. We know our God is the God of breakthrough and it is coming, but we are being challenged in many areas through this circumstance.

Anyway, we are at a place again to expect more out of each other than is fair. Again I have found myself looking at my husband thinking I am more mature and grounded, but God is reminding me that is not the case.

I have to say Jeremy's and my communication skills have improved greatly over the last five years. We are much more willing to see things from the other person's views or at least let the other person have there say and try to understand.

I write all of this I guess to encourage those who may be going through something similar. God is good. I can see His hand all over our lives. Do not give up. We have not, even though it is hard.

Blessings on all of you,

Jess