Why Does It Take So Long?

Do you ever feel like the lessons God is trying to teach do not "take" the first few times?

I do not know how many times I have been asked to have faith in God for something and I whine, complain, and tell Him "I do not understand", even though every time before He has made the way.

I hope I am learning. My family and I are about to reach the one year mark of my husband not having a full time job. It has been the most faith-challenging year I have ever experienced and yet, I know that I am in a much better place today than I was the day it all began.

God has proven Himself to be faithful over and over again. So why do I have any doubts? I truly cannot give you an answer.

In my logical mind, I know that I should not have any doubts, but somewhere in my illogical heart lives a weed. Every time we have a come to the test of faith I have pulled that weed, but every time I have missed a portion of the root. Why?

How do I get it all? I send this out to any of you who have experienced this. If you have insight, please enlighten me. I truly want to walk and no more doubt.

Be blessed!

One Moment

For all of you SAHMs, you know this is a very rare moment. My kids all stayed the night with other people and my husband is still asleep.

Honestly, life is really good at this moment. My house is quiet. Do you remember what that sounds like?! Most of the time, I do not, but it is here now.

It is the most beautiful sound. You can actually hear yourself think. You can hear your house sign and get comfortable for the day. There is peace in silence. I love it!!!

The reason being is that I am usually listening to one or more of our three girls telling me a story, telling on one of the other ones, asking me to go somewhere (that is just Bailee, our eleven-year-old, right now), making plans that will not possibly work out, etc.

It is amazing to me how much my children talk. It seems they are completely unable to keep their thoughts in. I do realize though this is better than them never talking to me, which is something I would never want.

So you say to me, Jess I thought this was suppose to be about God or something. Oh, it is, because He is found in the silence. I truly struggle to have a "Quiet Time" when there is no quiet.

Lately, I have just not had the energy to get out of bed before our girls. The two younger ones are up usually by 7, if not sooner.

So this morning, I spent some time with the Lord. We talked about life and how I was doing. I read His word and was given the promise that no matter how it looks right now. It will get better, because my inheritance is in Him. I just need to keep seeking Him.

This is about God, because I am nothing without Him and life is impossible without Him.

I hope you are all blessed today.

This is Shadow. We now have three cats. We are definitely done with the feline animals though. Next pet we may get will be a dog, but that is definitely for another day.

What do you think of him?

Independence

I think sometimes we are too concerned with our own independence. I know I have really been struggling with this lately.

My husband and I are going through a tough time right now, not with each other, just with our circumstances and I am finding it difficult to follow his lead. I know this is the way it should be, but I struggle.

We did not get married until we were both 25 and we both were comfortable with who we were. We did not see any reason for change. Our first year was a definite challenge. We also had a seven year old, so I thought I knew everything about being a parent and ... Well, I thought I was more mature and grounded than he was.

We are finding ourselves in that place again. We have been going through a financial struggle for over six months now and it just seems to get harder. We know our God is the God of breakthrough and it is coming, but we are being challenged in many areas through this circumstance.

Anyway, we are at a place again to expect more out of each other than is fair. Again I have found myself looking at my husband thinking I am more mature and grounded, but God is reminding me that is not the case.

I have to say Jeremy's and my communication skills have improved greatly over the last five years. We are much more willing to see things from the other person's views or at least let the other person have there say and try to understand.

I write all of this I guess to encourage those who may be going through something similar. God is good. I can see His hand all over our lives. Do not give up. We have not, even though it is hard.

Blessings on all of you,

Jess

Wordless Wednesday

I Return!!

So after more than two months of life overwhelming me, I am finding a moment to come back to you. Not that your here with me yet, but I hope you will return.

My life is filled with God given challenges right now. I remember the times when I would pray for my faith to be strengthened and challenged. I highly recommend you not praying that unless you are truly ready for God to meet you in that prayer.

Actually, I know we are never fully ready for the faith stretching experiences God puts in our paths, otherwise they would not be faith stretching, right?!

We, my husband and I, are in a process of refinement. I think I am especially feeling, but I know he is here with me.

For me, my parents and younger siblings are moving to Africa. My brother, Josh, one of my closest friends moved last fall. My brother, Jake, and his family will most likely only be here a year longer. My sister, Brandi, is in California right now. My sister, Brittney, is bound and determined to return to Canada where she spent a year. Our finances have been under the faith column for quite some time. My children have decided to grow and change faster than I am ready for. Life just seems to be a tornado around me right now.

I plan on pursuing God through this whole experience, not matter where it leads. I know God will use my growth to benefit others which is what I want more than anything.

I hope you will all stick around to enjoy the ride. Blessings today.

Joy and Peace

I was reading my Bible this morning and I found a scripture that I just must share.

Romans 15:13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I love the fact that I do not have to stir up hope for myself. That I can ask and God will fill me with joy and peace in believing. Then I can abound in hope and not in my power, but by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Is there anything better? To know that God wants peace, joy, and hope for each of us so much that He has provided for it. All we have to do is ask and believe that His word is truly.

Believe this for yourselves today. Know that no matter what you are struggling with, God has provided for your joy, peace, and hope. Grab a hold of that and do not let it go.

Blessings on all of you today.

Jess